Last things

After being here for 6 years I am near the end of my last week of official work. As you can imagine, there have already been many 'last things'. Last staff and team meetings, last Chapel with students, last day of school, last youth gatherings, last looks...

Here's what these last things have showed me so far:
- Life rolls on without us. I know it sounds a bit morbid, but really most of my 'last' experiences of this season of my life in this place and these roles, have seemed like just another day and nothing is changing. People will keep planning for the future here, things I have done someone else will do in their own way. It's a humbling experience really. It's also a good thing, a reassuring thing.

- Last things don't quite feel like last things because they always lead into First things, new things - so there isn't a real end while we're living. As someone who believes Jesus is God, even death isn't an end. Which leads me to the next point...

- There is always hope. I have hope, that even though I leave here soon, I will return - whether for a day or more, I will see the faces of people I love again. I have hope that God will keep using the time I have had here, and he will use the next season of my life - both for my good and the good of others.

So here's to last things that don't stay last forever :)

Moving: Step 1? The CLEAN OUT!

For a while now this whole moving deal has seemed quite surreal... there's still have a month or so til I completely move, but the process has begun. People have already been saying goodbye - even though I will see most of them at one of my farewells in the coming weeks. But the thing that indicates to me that I am moving is the 'cleaning out' process...which has just begun this week. 

Anyone who comes to my home now will be able to tell I am moving [or just think that I am either a hoarder or nutter for sorting so thoroughly]. One can collect alot over 6yrs! I'm starting to realise there really is a different mindset between Settled and Short-term Focus/Nomadic.

Settled

When I moved here, it was for the long haul. I started out with very little - coming straight from college where I did stints in a 1 bedroom granny flat or the bedroom of someone's family home. The first flat I ever moved into here was a 3 bedroom townhouse - which felt pretty empty once I had unpacked. All my homes here since then have been that size or bigger. So of course I filled them with furniture and created a home office and a spare room in each. I collected things that I thought would be useful for ministry or life in the long-term. I like that feeling of having resources at your fingertips. 

Nomadic

It looks like I'll be moving in with some dear friends of mine in Sydney who have generously offered me a room/their home and their family life. I am really looking forward to it :) I have no idea how long I'll be there for, or where I would move to afterwards. So there's this sense of Adventure and freedom, and a lack of need for lots of material things [particularly because I won't be able to afford them - which really is liberating in some ways].

 

Now I can't wait to downsize, rid myself of all this helpful and possibly helpful stuff that I have. I really don't mind the idea of fitting everything I have into my car - though, that really won't be possible even after I downsize... So this whole cleaning out process is quite enjoyable, even if it is a bit tedious and tiring. Plus it's always interesting to rediscover things. 

You know what... it still really doesn't seem real that my life is about to dramatically change. Better get back to phase 1 of my cleanout before my housemate arrives home to the mess!

Life is changing for Mel Part 2: New Adventure

If you read Part 1 of my post yesterday you've possibly been hanging out for this post (or you're wondering what all the talk about traffic and lights is means). If not, you can read it here. What has been happening in my life over the past year or so has been such a significant ride for me that I needed to describe it somehow before I could tell you the outcome.

All the 'red lights' helped me to clarify what my purpose is in life, what I'm shaped for and the visions I really want to pursue. Like I said yesterday I have a strong passion for helping young people grow to have the fullest life they can have on this earth and in eternity. First and foremost that means giving them an opportunity to meet and know their maker and saviour Jesus - the source of life. Jesus transforms our whole lives and draws us together into a family. So I'm a believer in a wholistic approach to sharing Jesus with young people and helping them following him with ever part of themselves, as well as build quality relationships with people from all age groups. I want to further explore Emotional Intelligence (EQ/EI), developmental stages, learning styles, relational skills and more, in order to find a way to integrate helping young people grow in these ways as we share Jesus with them (evangelism) and nurture them in their faith (discipleship). I want to study Biblical foundations of this also, so that I have a good foundation for the approach that honors Jesus and doesn't distract us from sharing Jesus with people.

At the same time I want to develop my skills more so I can apply what I discover, and help others apply it. I have a vision of how all this might work that includes bringing generations together, which excites me and if I don't take the opportunity now to give it a go, I could easily never really try.

An opportunity has come my way. If you read yesterday's post I would say that a gap in the traffic opened up... My church contract ends soon which has meant my Ministers and I have been trying to discern what's best for all of us next year. Im thankful I have such great Ministers/bosses. There's been no 'road rage' between us in this. They genuinely want what's best for me, I genuinely want what's best for my church family, and me too. When the gap opened up the turning lane was on a red light. I had to decide whether to just take a punt and get in that lane (resign next yr) or stay. Then the green light came in the form of a job as a Project Manager and Coach for a youth personal leadership program called Max Potential. I was involved as a community coach for 2 yrs in port Mac and looooved it! Adults from community organisations get trained to coach a young adult (usually students grade 11) over 22weeks through the MAXIMISERS Principles to help them think seriously about their life, habits, character, belief system and values, as well as develop skills to grow (and take responsibility for their own growth without a coach after the program).You can check it out here http://www.max-potential.com.au/

Well I said Yes!

It's a massive shift. It's definitely stepping into the unknown. I don't know where I'll live, exactly when I'll move, how I'll get there, what church I'll connect with, what it will really look like financially and even practically in terms of time what a normal week will look like. I do know though that no matter how all the unknowns work out, it's worth it. Over time you'll more than likely be hearing more about it from me.

I'm in the turning lane now, driving slowly to the lights because I still have to wrap up my work here. In early 2013 ie Jan/Feb I'll be moving back to Sydney. Leaving port is going to be tough. I will miss sooo much about the people and the place and the work I've been doing. Yet I'm pretty darn excited about my new adventure and where it could lead in the future. I actually jumped up and down and squealed after I accepted the job over the phone. 

A little while ago I drew this pic - on the edge of the cliff - because I felt like that that's where I was at... wanting to abseil into the unknown, but frozen on the edge... not anymore :D

Life is changing for Mel... Part 1 Traffic Lights

What are you like at red traffic lights? Me... I pride myself in my ability to be quick off the mark when the lights go from red to green. As soon as I hit a red light I am in 'ready to go' mode. The clutch [yes I drive a manual - enjoy it] is poised and my right foot angled close to the accelerator, my eyes keenly watching the moving traffic for changes in pace. I monitor the lights that are green for the other traffic waiting for them to turn orange upon which I heighten my alertness look to my traffic lights, see the green and I'm off! Proudly enjoying beating the car next to me without speeding :)

My attitude towards red traffic lights is usually the same as my attitude to the 'red lights' and 'stop' signs of life - when I reach them I get ready for when they turn to 'go' and eagerly anticipate it. However, as I reflected recently I realised that my attitude had become like that of waiting on the pacific hwy in traffic jams... you know you'll be waiting a while and there's no point in staying alert and ready, just switch off the engine, grab a book, tweet your situation, get out and throw a frisby around, eat some food, observe everyone else's behaviour [and try to guess what their saying or thinking just for fun]... whatever will just distract you from the waiting. And even then, when people start turning on their cars and gradually edging forward very slowly, I'd wait in my car until cars are really moving [rather than stop starting], before turning the key.

Over the past year or so I have had soooo many red lights that never turned green, though they showed promise... In all areas if my life. If i believe something is important and possible, I pour myself into pursuing it with excitement, passion and lots of serious thought and action. After 'revving' the engine constantly only to find the lights weren't changing I gave up. I started treating life like I was stuck on the pacific hwy in a halted traffic jam. There's no point even thinking about turning the car key until you see cars a few ahead of you start to drive off in a smooth constant pace. So in the mean time you do whatever will take your mind off waiting. Focus disappears. you don't even think about seeing if there is anything you can do to help the traffic move along, cause you know you have no control over it. I stopped trying to make positive changes in what I was doing in ministry and settled for just doing what I could each day to help people without trying to change a system or get people to try new things. I wasn't confident there was any value in trying due to all the red lights. I found I was happier because the lower bar I had set myself meant I was reaching my short term goals well, particularly in ministry. And life was easier because it usually is when you work with the systems you're in and fall in line.

But it wasn't as satisfying. my passion for life, for helping Young people find and live life to the full -whatever it takes- is so deep-seeded that it wasn't going to let me silence it. So I tried one more time to change one of the systems around me so that I would be free to focus on all the things that I envisioned.

I came to realise though that what was happening was that I needed to make a change rather than make everyone change for me. I now see it as like being in a long line of traffic where I want to go into the right-hand turning lane to take another route to our destination. Yet the line of traffic stretches past the turning lane so I can see it, I can see the green light for that lane with noone else in it, but I can't move into the lane just yet. Ever had that happen on the road? Frustrating isn't it. So more waiting ensued, trying to remain faithful to the people and task I have at the moment.

I actually love this place, the people and the Incredible opportunities I've had to 'walk alongside' people. I just have a different picture of how I can keep doing that into the future.

Sweet Victory and Sour Sorrow: AFL & Poverty

As a loyal Sydney Swans fan [from my days of old] last night's AFL victory to advance into the Grand Finals was definitely an exciting moment!! I wasn't able to watch the game, but my faithful Father and Sister kept me up to date via text :) I probably won't even be able to watch the Grand Final as I'll be at a camp, but I remain excited about the event :) Either way I'll share it with my Dad and Big Sister, which makes it even more fun. There is something about a shared experience that makes it all the better. Celebrating with lots of facebook friends today, as multiple posts of Swannies jubilation hit my newsfeed, also sparked a sense of satisfaction and excitement. 

It's quite incredible how sports and competition can thrill us, drawing our energy and emotion in. It's fleeting though, after all it doesn't happen every day and every moment [which is a good thing].


Anyway, today a friend 'tweeted' an article by SMH on how many of our sports balls are being made by young girls in poverty and in bad conditions. I recommend you watch this journalist report here

It could really easy not to click on the above link and just keep reading so if you haven't watch the video do it now. It will not take long. It's really important and relevant to all of us. We are so detached from the reality of poverty. We need to expose ourselves to the truth often in order to undo our detachment. Here's the link again: http://www.smh.com.au/national/poor-children-made-to-stitch-sports-balls-in-sweatshops-20120921-26c0z.html

Let me know when you have watched it, then I'll post my response and hopefully I'll get to hear yours too.

Mel<><

Don't shop while you're hungry??

'They' say never go shopping when you're hungry.

Well I was shopping today when I was hungry - Not because I was hungry - and the collective 'they' were in my head!
"You'll end up buying something bad for you, spend more money than necessary/buy more than you need "

As I headed to the fresh bakery section of woolies with the sole intention of grabbing the healthiest snack there I was determined not to splurge just because I was hungry. Upon approaching the magic clear doors and glanced across the array of 'delicious' it was the blueberry muffin that caught my eye... But wait... Despite its healthier status to chocolate it really isn't a good lunch option. Hmm so my eyes searched across the display and there they were... 3 of the best looking cream finger buns you've ever seen! You know the ones with sweet cream carefully laid in the long finger bun for you to see, decorated with the squiggly line of rich red jam!! I used to eat these at school. As I stood there consciously reminding myself that the health risks outway the temporary satisfaction with this choice, I was seriously tempted, so much so that I stood there perhaps a little long. I couldn't tell if I just wanted to eat it because it reminded me of my 'yesterdays' or because they are so sweet and I haven't eaten one in long time (which would make it alright to treat myself right?). And what if I was only remembering how much I liked them then, only to eat one now and be disappointed?! Well suffice to say I held my ground, grabbed the Hawaiian pizza looking thing and paced quickly away from those magic doors...

food can be such a distraction!

Ps. Happy with my choice:)
Pss. Despite the wisdom of the 'They' of you have run out of food or are starving then you should forget the 'They' and go shopping

'R U OK?' Day

  

Just in case you haven't heard, today is 'R U OK?' Day here is Australia. I say 'is' because you still have time to ask someone if they are ok. Of course you can ask them tomorrow as well - but the aim of today is partly to remind us not to leave it too long to ask this question of people, rather feel free to ask more regularly.

It's kinda sad that we have to have a day to remind us to ask each other how were are going... but I am glad we do. It does some helpful things like:

• highlights the importance of talking to each other 
• gives people permission to ask in situations they normally wouldn't feel like they could
• reminds us to open our eyes and ears, and even mouths, more to the many people who are struggling - often silently [hence the need to open our eyes... as well as our mouths to ask the question and speak words of hope, support and encouragement]

If you haven't checked out the official website it is worth doing so. It has some good information and resources to help us help each other through the tougher times of life. Check it out here

This particular resource page from the website is really helpful if you want some quick practical tips on how to say 'R U OK?' Yep, I know that sounds a little silly. But there are lots of ways to find out if someone is OK and to really Listen. Sometimes the question 'are you OK?' doesn't help someone open up. Sometimes it's how we are portraying ourselves that may prevent someone from opening up. That's why this is a useful fact sheet to look at.    

I've recently asked 2 questions related to 'R U OK?' day via twitter and facebook. So I'll blog some more about this later.

In the mean time...

• If there is something weighing you down today find someone you trust and tell them, even if they haven't asked 'are you ok?'. 
• If you have noone to share your struggle with right now, LifeLine hotline has great people who listen and care. Call 13 11 14
• If you haven't tried to genuinely find out how someone is going today here are a few questions you could ask besides 'are you ok?' that may help start a good conversation
• what's been worrying you lately, if anything?
• what's been the high point and the low point of your day?
• If you could change anything about your life now, what would it be?
• what's 1 thing that has been weighing you down lately?

 "Connection and open, honest conversations are good for our wellbeing – whether or not we’re struggling with a problem. It helps us to feel valued and supported by the people around us. There's also an emerging body of research which links supportive social relationships and a sense of social connection with protective factors in suicide prevention." ['R U OK? Day' Website FAG page]

1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back... Recalculating...

It just struck me that this old cliche may just need some recalculating. I have often felt like I take a step forward then find myself back further than when I started, as if trying to go up an escalator only to find it carrying me back to the bottom and dumped me on
my butt! But it has just occurred to me that it actually works out to be 2 steps forward and 1 step back, because even when I have taken 1 step forward then fallen back 2 I get back up and start the walking from the first step I got to before I went backwards. I call that Moving forward. If you usually find the above cliche describes you, perhaps as you reflect on where you are now - and how you've grown anyway - it's your turn to recalculate the cliche:)

I'm sooo thankful when God opens my eyes a little more so I can see things more how they actually are. Feeling joyful right now and thankful for the backwards steps, especially that God lets me go backwards so that he can help me move forward properly. Growth, whilst painful, is ultimately invigorating. After all, it's a sign we are ALIVE, not just breathing :)

Silly Sayings

A sweet young Japanese woman has been staying with me for the past 2 weeks. In that time I have, so far, managed to teach her 2 silly Australian sayings... funny thing is that it wasn't until I had to explain what I was talking about when I said them that I realised how silly they are.

First one was: "feeling under the weather". She asked me why "under" the weather? Um... good questions?! What is it... being under the spell of crappy weather?? [cause we always seem to use it in the negative]

Second one: "my brain is fried". That one was funnier to her:) I think she thought I meant 'deep fried' hehe!

Someone at school today taught her "stick like glue" as in "stick like glue to the other teachers so you don't get lost".

I like our silly sayings cause even when they don't really make sense somehow they just do:)

Hmm I wonder what else I can teach her before she goes back to Japan...

Re-Activating Life

Life has been very interesting this year, and not all in an exciting way... mostly in a confusing: "I don't really know what's going on" kind of way. I've grappled; wrestled; questioned; listened; 'tested the waters'; paused decisions; given up and let the tide take me wherever' taken steps of faith; adapted; grown; as well as done the whole 'flop on the floor in a state of stubborn unhappy obedience' like a grumpy kid kind of thing... not all in that order, but definitely a few rounds of each. This is why you haven't heard much from me here for a while. 

This morning I decided to focus on the smaller things in my life, rather than the bigger things. I've already made the most important decision in my life, the biggest one of all: To follow Jesus, the King of the Universe and whatever is beyond. Being faithful to that decision is not and easy road.

Life is purposeful, thus it requires us to live it intentionally, not passively. My life has been given purpose, meaning, joy, love and hope that runs deep and flows into eternity. Yet I find myself making everyday choices, even defaulting to 'old self' habits [as if I don't have to choose - which in itself is a choice!], that aren't in the spirit of 'Living the Change".  They don't lead me to more fulfilling life, rather they slowly and subtly lead me in the way of 'death'.

I've been thinking about about Romans 12v1-2 

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

On Tuesday night I heard v2 again, and I honestly thought: "I am tired of having to do all the changing, can't something else change so that good comes from it and I can have a break". But the next day I was preparing for a school chapel service where I was starting to wrap up the series on Jesus' "I AM" statements. God helped me to see that when Jesus says he is "the way, the truth and the life", he is basically saying that the answer to ANY and ALL our questions, confusion, uncertainty, despair... well everything is JESUS HIMSELF. It's not about me finding the right way through this time in my life or the path that I meant to walk on into the next season of my life. It's about me being with Jesus, going to Him. 

So this has led to my decision to persevere with Rom 12v1-2. This morning God reminded me - in fact I think he woke me up at 3am to get me to listen carefully - that the process of being being transformed in our mind requires non-conforming to worldly patterns and the same is true the other way around, both are dependent on each other. This is no easy process. But it IS Possible and WORTHWHILE. My problem is that I let circumstances and excuses cloud my judgment, causing me to think and feel like it's too hard when it actually isn't. First of all God himself promises to help us, He gives us other people to grow with, and then it really comes down to the small everyday decisions of your life. Now that makes it sound more possible to me.

Thus reactivating the simple rule of 'swapping' worldly habits for Godly habits that will keep me focussed on and connected with Jesus, is the key. Hence my new personal project "The Swap Project" (here) It's not really revolutionary, it's just something to help live out Rom 12v1-2. I'm trying to keep it simple so I've been really disciplined and refrained from spending lots of time making it look good - trust me that's a big deal, hehe:)

Feel free to join me in it:)

Hindsight

So I'm here looking back on a recent scenario of my life thinking how 'Hindsight' really drew the short straw when it came to getting its role on the 'Sight' team. Foresight gets all the glory with preventing us from doing stupid things or preparing us for things to come. The only weakness of Sight is that there are things we sometimes don't want to see in the moment, other than that we are thankful for being able to see everytime we open our eyes. But Hindsight gets all the angst. Hindsight is the one noone really wants, in fact more than that, we'd much prefer Hindsight to someone else: the other 'Sights'. It's the one that we would like to yell at, and perhaps have:
"where were you when I really need led you?!"
"what?! You're choosing to tell me NOW and not back then when it mattered?!"
Yep Hindsight is the awkward one that never seems to get timing right. The thing is, that's its job... so at least it does it's job well. And whilst we tend to err on the side of animosity towards Hindsight, there's a depth of wisdom in it that we appreciate. It teaches us valuable things, that actually end up being useful for our present and future. Maybe it's not so separated from Foresight or Sight as it seems... Oh yeah they're a team... We need them all.

Disappointment

It's an inevitable thing in this life that we will all experience disappointment. Whether it be disappointment in things not turning out how we hoped or planned, or disappointment causes by people, the effect is the same. Usually it's some form of sadness and sense of loss, whether it shows in tears or anger.

As a person full of hope, optimism and dreams I have encountered disappointment to the point where we are beyond 'acquaintances'. Whilst there is a deep familiarity with disappointment, at times it can still catch me by surprise in its ability to effect me. Usually it rears its head in circumstances not working out how I hoped they would. Lately it's showed up on a regular basis.

Today was its most recent sighting.

The difficult part of dealing with disappointment for me is in finding a healthy response where I allow myself to feel the valid sadness, reflect on what happened so I can understand it and learn from it, but then find a way to let it go so it doesn't lead me towards bitterness or inaction.

Today the most difficult part was facing the fact that I let myself down. I really wanted to hit myself over the head a couple of times. Don't worry, I didn't:). But I couldn't fight back the tears on and off - even on a plane!

I wonder what you do with disappointment.
For me, the key is intentionally bringing to mind what is ultimately true and outlasts whatever happens on Earth - Jesus: His character, His promises and what he has already done for me.

Truth can be hard to hold onto when our emotions are at full throttle. So today it was a difficult challenge to fight the repetitive regretful thoughts with truth. Boy can my mind shout, particularly at night when I want to sleep. But I opened the Bible (well my Bible ap) and the verse for the day was Philippians 4v4 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"

Perfect verse for me to hear tonight. Thank you God! It puts everything into perspective and helps me to fix my eyes on God not me (the Bible says it well: Hebrews 12v1-3). Whatever happens, God is still in charge and His ways are perfect, better plans than mine. And all that happens on this Earth in my life is so small and temporary compared with seeing God face to face and being with Him in 'perfect everything' forever. So this may not have worked out, but it doesn't knock me out of God's awesome hands and perfect plans.

Hope in this earthly life is a fleeting thing and really is no sure hope at all. but hope in Jesus is absolute and eternal.

In times of disappointment may you run to the God in whom there's never nothing to rejoice about.

That is the difference between joy and happiness: joy withstands circumstances, whereas happiness depends on circumstances. Joy comes from knowing Jesus :D He does not disappoint :D

My Life is a Musical #3 - Lay it Down

At the risk of sounding self-promoting and obnoxious, I am posting a song I wrote over a year ago. There are times where I have so much inside me that all I can do is play the guitar and sing. When those moments come I hit the 'record' button before I even have an idea of what I will sing. This song is one of those - completely unedited. I'm posting it because it still influences my life. I find that I need to sing this song most days! I sang it in a time where God was helping me deepen my trust in Him. I had lots of hope in my own dreams, dreams bigger than myself. I also had lots of uncertainty and needs. As a dreamer, idealist, and an ideas generating machine who takes responsibility really seriously, I often need to be reminded that God is in charge - rightly so - and trusting Him to lead and provide for me in area of my life is always the best decision. There is real freedom and peace in laying things at God's feet. The more I have learnt to trust God the more I discover that how shallow that trust is in other areas of my life. Anyway, this song says it for me. Perhaps this song isn't just a gift from God for me, perhaps it is meant for you too. 

My Life is a Musical #2

Though this post has been a long time coming, I can't not post this song. But to get how cool of an experience I have just had I need to give you the story. This afternoon I found myself quite discouraged and in need of something to lift me up and refocus me. Well I rang my sister and had a long conversation with my almost 2yr old nephew. I think we talked about trains and food, but the conversation was more based on noises in sentence form with a few squeals thrown it - the longest conversation I've had with him so I will cherish it! :) Well talking with the 2 of them really helped me by allowing me to get my emotions out and then by making me laugh and smile. Straight after I hung up I knew I needed to move on, get focused on the mission at hand. Music was the first thing that came to mind. iTunes shuffled away and landed on this song "Author of Life" by Phil Joel. Immediately I knew it was the song I needed to hear. It expressed where I am at and helped me fix my eyes on Jesus. It's moments like these that I breathe a sigh of relief and thankfulness to God cause I am reminded that He is active in my life, He reassures me.
Here's the song with some random pics I've taken over the past 6months for fun:)

Things aren't actually what I thought they would be

I won't pretend, disappointments never free

The sky's on fire, feels like the sky's on fire

I may be young but I'm feeling pretty old

Like somebody borrowed years

And I found out they got sold

But still I love you

Though my sky's on fire

Swallow my pride

Let go inside

Show me your way

Refine me

And I'll still love you

Though my sky's on fire

To the author of life

Be the author of my life

To the author do you hear me sing?

To the author of life

Be the author of my life

To the author do you hear me?

I see you've been hanging in there

Looking back I've been everywhere

I've done it my way for far too long now like

Like I promised you years before

All I have is yours

Swallow my pride

Let go inside

Show me your way

Refine me

Kony2012 - Response #1: To stomp or knead

In a time when it feels like there are so many things we can't do much about in our world, it makes sense that when something comes along that gives us both a real issue that shoots at the human heart, and presents a solution with steps that anyone could do, it's no wonder so many people - including myself - have grabbed onto the Kony2012 campaign.

Sometimes we don't want to look at the things that could possibly be unhelpful with such a project because we couldn't bear the feeling of being disheartened by yet another thing that we can't do. So I am thankful that there are people, including my friends, who have and are thinking thoroughly through the Kony 'issue' and the campaign against him. I am even more thankful that they put it in front of me to consider.

Ultimately, the Kony2012 campaign and the responses that are happening as a result provide us with a fantastic opportunities, as well as some challenges. There are sooo many things running through my head about these. Over the next few blogs I am going to post my response to Kony2012 in parts so that it makes it easier for discussion to happen concerning each point.

If you are moved by the Kony2012 campaign, whether for or against it, then I encourage you to engage in discussion about it and the other issues it raises for us to consider. Don't just engage in discussion by saying what you think, but by actually listening to others, considering other views and staying in the conversation. 


#1 To Stomp or Knead?
Kony2012 woke up people's hearts! This is a great thing! The campaign has helped people put themselves in the world picture as fellow humans with people a long way away, living in very different circumstances. The people of IC have been working for the good of the kids in Africa for years now - have you or I? Instead of stomping on their actions or the actions of those responding in good faith, let's get involved. Let's support the kids in Africa, as well as the 'kids' in Australia who are craving to help and have found something they can do.

I wouldn't be surprised if the largest demographic of responders to the Kony 2012 video are youths and young adults [Gen y & z]. Certainly some of the comments I have heard have been about or aimed at the response of young people. Here is a comment I read in a question asked by ABC24 news [yes I watch that!].

“How very generation Y or Z that foreign issues of this size can be solved with coloured wrist bands…”

I honestly felt a little gutted by that comment. When young people get passionate we seem to stomp on it - show them all the flaws of what they are doing. We underestimate young people. We assume they don't understand the world like us. Instead of doing this we can engage with them in what they are passionate about. Affirm the positive in their motives, the the good actions, and help them work through how to gain good perspectives and come up with even better ways forward.  Sometimes they understand it more and that's why they take causes seriously. They see how joining together can bring results. Sometimes they understand what it is to be community more than we do [coloured wrist bands are more than just that, they are a sign of someone having a solidarity with you on an issue that matters in your heart]. They may not understand all the complexities of world issues - I am not sure many of us really do - but they have good radars for injustice. And they are willing to see the complexities if someone is willing to help them. I say this as someone on the older end of Gen Y and who works with young people.

We need to start somewhere and Kony 2012 is a catalyst for Australians to work out ways to start talking through issues as a community as a whole as well as in our smaller communities. We owe it to our current generation and the generation to come, to ask all the questions needed, to discuss it frankly and wisely and then to act on good information and decisions made as a community.

Let's not stomp out the fire ignited in people's hearts, let's use Knoy2012 like yeast and work with it, combining it with all the ingredients necessary then 'knead' it so it can rise up to be something the feeds the world in a good way.

I know this does not address the specific issues the actual Kony2012 campaign raises, but if we don't think about whether we are stomping or kneading, how can we really take the step to work through Kony2012 well.

The Chase

I'm picturing a scenario, you know the one when you're mucking around with your friend and somehow it turns into some kind of game of chase - for me it's on the beach. Your friend jabs you in a way to 'say it's on!'. The jab is enough to make you think 'ouch' and provoke you to somehow hit back. But before you can hit back your friend is already on the run - testing to see if the jab did its job in igniting the chase. Your friend runs ahead almost running backwards to keep you engaged in the game, slows a little to give you a sense that you're catching up and then darts off in a different direction just as you plan to pounce and claim victory. Your friend keeps leading the chase in unpredictable maneuvers, kicking up the water, with you trying your best to splash back with walls of water, until finally they let you catch up and it all kind of falls in heap of laughter [and puffing form using up all your energy].

Ok well, now you have that in your mind, I feel like God has jabbed me and said 'it's on! bring it!'. It's a bit of a thrilling adventure following GoD! Right now, I'm up for the chase :)

Embracing the 'nerd' in me

Earlier this week emails began to flow with information on the rules of engagement - that is, engaging in online discussion forums, ones that I'll actually be assessed on! It is a new era of study for me. Distance and time have ushered me into cyber-college. Already immersed in it and loving it! :) Daunted, but optimistic is a good description of me and study right now. Learning how to work as a group [with people I don't know, and won't see face to face], being required to participate regularly and effectively, getting the rules of engagement right [like posting in the right forum - it's a good starting point I will be aiming for first], and doing most of my communicating by written word is going to be a challenge.Yet my nerdy senses are alert and eager to be unleashed. Yep, I am one of Those people who liked school ;)

Quite a lot of my friends moved town last year. They were people who also enjoyed discussion on various aspects of life and discovering new things. I've really been craving hearty discussion that challenges me, enlightens me and also encourages me. I think I may have said this before somewhere but I subscribe fully to the idea that 'iron sharpens iron'. Though sometimes that process of sharpening can be painful, most of the time I love it. It makes me feel alive - growing, learning, facing mistakes and developing better ways to think and live...

So this college subject is great timing. Time to hit to pile of books [including the digital prints].

What subjects are you really keen to learn more about, think through for yourself and dream up ideas for??

Leadership... is it in the 'I' or the 'S'?

Leadership gets talked about a lot. There are many books and courses on it. I know - I've read a few and done a few. But nothing has taught me more about leadership than actually being put in the role of a leader.

When I was first given the leadership position where I am today my Minister at the time [ who employed me] asked me what another word for 'leadership' was. I can't remember what I came up with, but they were all wrong. He even told me it started with 'I' and I still had no clue! So if you're still wondering what it is don't worry, I have been there. The word he was looking for was 'Influence'. It made sense. Still does. You can't lead if you have no influence right. But the longer I am in a role of leadership, the more evident it is that the Essence of Leadership is actually Serving/Servanthood, rather than Influence. Sure influence is important cause that means people will follow. But doesn't true long-lasting influence really come from serving those you want to influence. Influence requires trust and how can someone trust when there is not evidence of the 'trusted-to-be' caring for them. Servanthood is the purest form of showing love and thus serving gains trust which then gives one the permission to influence, thus lead. Oooh I just unintentionally used some literary form that I remember learning about in college [but can't remember the name!], how exciting, college is still paying off! :) If you look closely you'll see right in the middle of that line of logic is that ultimately Leadership is about the 'L': Love [but I think everything comes back to love in it's fullness - so I'll just stick to the servant aspect for this blog. And no I'm not from the 60's]


Why else would you want to lead people?

Ok I'm hearing "power-hungry" to that question. Sure a person could lead for their own gain, but I don't actually think that is really leadership - that's lording it over someone and it's more about forcing people  [whether overtly or not] to follow rather than giving people the choice to freely follow [which actually shows more power than having to use force]. 'Lording it' never lasts anyway cause eventually the people you think you are leading/have power over revolt against you [as history and even today's news stories depict]. I cannot help but wonder if people who end up being the power-hungry dictators, who lord it over others, actually started out wanting to lead because they thought they could help people.

Anyway, I am going to assume that most people - especially you because you are reading this - who want to lead or are put into leadership positions are usually at that point because they care about other people and feel like they have something they can bring to the table, so to speak.

I am reminded of a time in my training years where my supervising Minister at the time had to 'pull me up' on a few things I had made mistakes in. As we talked more he realised that the reason for those particular mistakes was that my percecption of my role was skewed. Here I was employed by a loving Church to minister to youth and kids while in college. I had been for almost 2 years and had been feeling a  bit overwhelmed by life and ministry - to the point that I was treating it like any job [part of my coping mechanism]. My supervisor told me [I'm paraphrasing cause I can't remember exact words after 6 years] "This is not a job. The church are making sure your living expenses are covered so you can be free to serve". This was a profound moment - a lightbulb moment! Suddenly I felt free again, like when I first begun,  to serve. The whole idea that I had to meet expectations, live up to some obligations, get everything right, do what everyone wanted me to do, all because I was paid, was not true! That changes things. It makes me think about whether there is a difference between organic leadership and a leadership role and what the pro's and con's are to each - but I'm gunna think about that another day [was that a sigh of relief I heard :P]

I wish I could say that I have never lost sight of that since - but it wouldn't be true. However, through these last 5 years or so of full-time youth and children's ministry, my understanding of leadership and servanthood has been through much vigorous testing and refining. It still requires more refining.

Today was a challenging day in leadership. All day 1 by 1 our youth kept dropping out of tonight's youth group gathering. Some with very legitimate reasons like work, being away or even in hospital [poor girl!:(] Then there were others who couldn't given a reason or got distracted by something else that seemed more important than sticking to the thing they committed to going to first [and actually RSVPed to say they were coming]. So by the time 6.30 rolled up noone did. It's days like this that are reminders, sometimes painful, that what I do - who I am even - is about servanthood.

We all serve someone - whether it be ourselves, others, or a god, or the king of all servants - the Servant King [whose business is serving others - hence the title].

If I wasn't in Minstry to serve I wouldn't still be here. It's costly and difficult, sometimes very lonely. But I love [see it does come back to love] these people and I really want what is best for them. There are great moments when I see one of them grow in an area of life and faith. They keep me here :) More than that I serve the Servant King and He inspires me to want to serve the people He loves too. In fact He enables me to serve - I really couldn't without Him [not for long anyway]. It is only since being put in a leadership position that I have begun to have a richer understanding of Jesus as the Servant King. Check out a situation Jesus had to deal with where 2 of his disciples wanted to be granted glory and status [which we usually attribute to leaders]:

^{Mark 10
35} Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. “Teacher,” they said, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask.”
   ³⁶ “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked.
 ³⁷ They replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”
   ³⁸ “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said. “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?”
 ³⁹ “We can,” they answered.
   Jesus said to them, “You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, ⁴⁰ but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared.”
 ⁴¹ When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John. ⁴² Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. ⁴³ Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, ⁴⁴ and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. ⁴⁵ For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Jesus totally smacked down the idea of leading out of a desire for personal gain and He backs it up by showing that He [their leader] lived out the purest example of leadership. Leadership cost Jesus everything. He knew the cost in the time and energy he gave to teaching, healing and feeding others. He knew the cost in facing the ridicule, attacks and even pressure to be what others wanted Him to be &do [rather than who He was and what His mission was]. He knew the cost in allowing Himself to be falsely accused, beaten to a pulp and nailed to a cross. And now He continues to serve us on earth by His Spirit & Word, and in heaven being our advocate. Leadership is a life thing - for life, with your life. What have I gotten myself into?!

I'm a West Wing fan. When I watch it I cannot help but think of Jesus and Christians. POTUS is serving the country by leading it - he wants to help the people do what's best for the people [generally] and he sacrfices personal things, takes personal risks and bears the brunt of all kinds of attacks. His staff serve him and serve the Americans in doing so ["I serve at the pleasure of the President" is their catch-phrase]. Obviously Jesus is way better than POTUS cause Jesus is perfect. But the dynamic of leadership/servanthood is similar. So if you're looking for some inspiration on leadership, watch the West Wing, but also read the Bible. As you watch the West Wing keep in mind that what you see that is inspiring you is only a drop compared to the never-ending river of it that you'll find in Jesus - hence why we need to read the Bible - start with the Gospels :)

So here I am. Challenged. Humbled and reminded that even on days like today, I serve at the pleasure of Jesus. Though, not because I am some wonder-woman [the idea of that kind of responsibility is way too overwhelming for me anyway], but because Jesus put it in my heart when He showed me how significantly He loves and serves me so I may be free to enjoy Him and the life within me that He paid for me to have. 

I'm going to go and change my 'leadership' seminar content now. Let's make Servanthood the new Buzz word! :)

Grouchy or Grumpy?

Which looks more appealing to you - Grouchy Smurf or Grumpy Dwarf? Or another way to look at it - which is the grumpiest of the 2 - the worst to be around? All I can say is that this morning I am either Grumpy or Grouchy [is there a difference?]! so I am looking for the nicer kind of grumpy - if it exists - so I can feel a little better about being grumpy...

The ugliest part of my grumpy-ness is that it bursts right out of me in reaction to a situation or something someone said - which usually means someone gets to taste the bitterness of my grumps - which could be painful for them. This morning it was at a meeting...  never good when it comes out during work, situations where I am meant to be serving other people.

Well I have some apologising to do now. But before I go... is it better for me just to stay away from humans when I am feeling more like a dwarf or smurf than human myself, for the sake of the humans?
Perhaps I might for a little bit then try to re-enter the normal world later today...

Drama Drama Drama!

Once upon a time there was a brave girl. When something fearful rose up before her, the power of perception shone through allowing her to push the fear aside and deal with the confrontation for the sake of her friends and her safety.

[yawn yawn yawn...what a boring story!]




But wait! On this very night hysteria was in the air!!

Blurred to protect the identity of this warrior spider

A gigantic, hairy spider, with a massive butt full of poison had stealthfully placed itself on her bedroom wall, quietly awaiting her entrance. Though hours passed and she had still not returned home, this warrior spider knew never to be caught unaware, so it employed its statue-like poise while remaining alert.
The brave girl entered just in the nick-of-time, before the warrior spider could go into a 'charlotte's web dazed coma' from staying in stealth-mode for so long. The warrior had seen what that does to a spider - not a pretty sight. Proving itself worthy of warrior status, the spider quickly snapped out of it and readied itself for the game that would begin.

Though the warrior could have taken her before she could even notice it, this spider liked the hunt too much. Afterall, the hunting games are what make victories become legends in the spider kingdom. And so it began, to this spider's delight. The girl entered peacefully, even happy, as the day had been long plus a little turbulent, and sleep was a welcomed reward. Perhaps this explains some of what then unfolded. For her state of emotion had made her less alert. It wasn't until she had put things down and turned towards the bathroom that her illogical self took over her body causing her to jump on her bed with shock and disgust at the sight of the warrior spider! Her perception goggles went to work starting with claims of truth: "You are bigger than that spider, even though as big as your hand, really was just that - not as big as you". It also played the 'humour' card, making her think how funny it was that she was nervous and so playing the battle down: "Haha, look at how ridiculous you're being! Can you believe how freaked you are. Just slap it down with a shoe and walk away."

But the more she thought of the situation she was in the more the outlook was defeating for her. She was all on her own! If she left the room to find practical weapons to kill the warrior, the warrior could run and hide as a psychological and positional tactic. If she came back to find the warrior gone she would not be able to sleep in fear of the warrior torturing her using the old and brutal 'crawl over the body and up the face' technique. And worse, jabbing her with its fangs! The girl couldn't give the warrior the satisfaction of such an advantage over her. It was far better for her to attempt to win the staring competition first. So she stayed in her battle tank [the bed] and turned to the only place she could think of for comfort...armed with a camera and the internet she posted the battle on facebook. Surely she could gain some tactical advice and some assurance from FB friends.

Staring was working - the spider hadn't moved. Strength began to grow in her as advice of friends spurred her on [if you can call some it that]. With a leap of faith she left the room to gather her weapons and remove her dog from the equation [cause we all know how quickly things can turn against you when a loved one enters the game unaware]. Upon her return she found the warrior positioned sternly in the same place. The warrior was enjoying the power it had over her, for by staying it had gained more control. The warrior didn't have to wait too long for the right opportunity to make its next move.

The girl had messaged a neighbour friend for help, only to hear nothing in reply, now was the time to move! Now she was really vulnerable. Remaining in stealth-mode, the warrior made its way down the wall onto a fallen poster curled near the open door. Then just as the girl looked to see its position had changed, the warrior broke stealth-mode, lifting its front leg towards her - the spider version of the Haka. With delight the warrior watched the girl squirm with fear and listened to her squeal with noone to hear her. But pride had distracted the warrior for a mist of chemicals was screaming towards it at the speed of light. With stinging eyes the spider tried to escape the next wave of chemicals. It ran to the door then up the door, upon which it realised that the chemicals were so cheap that it was like shampoo getting in your eyes, not acid. To its relief it could see again and just in time to witness the increased fear in the brave girl as she saw the warrior run. The girl was trembling now, for the warrior had become unpredictable! It was time to bring out the big guns - it was time to phone a friend!

Now in times like these it is important to call the right people - the ones who have got your back not matter what. The ones who's bravery surpasses yours and who would never ever laugh at you in crisis. So she turned to her big sister. Thankfully her sister's husband was also skilled and knowledgeable when it comes to fighting spiders - though the girl has not heard of any legends regarding them or any spider battle victories [but she had no time to consider that fact]. By this time the warrior was moving into the bathroom. It is the best place to gain tactical advantages! After hearing about the spiders that magically move through walls, closing the bathroom door was not option for the brave girl. She was going to have to find a way to hunt the spider down. Her sister reassured her by employing the always powerful 'lol's - so many of them! But the warrior was still teasing her. It was in its prime. It's proud moment was when it hid on one side of the toilet cistern where she couldn't see it, then it masterfully maneuvered 2 legs wrapping around the front and in the air enough for the girl to see! Yes that got her noisily trembling in her bear feet! To add salt to the wound, the spider crawled onto the bathroom mirror and graffitied with poison her death notice. Yes this was going to go down in history as the spiders best hunt yet! It could hear the cheers and chants from its fellow spiders, picturing the looks of awe on their faces as they munch on insects down at the grub pub later that night.

Oh no! The spider had been caught out in its dreaming! It did not have a contingency plan for the arrival of a friend with MORTEIN!! The warrior looked up, then down, but the sea of the colour cream had bewitched him like crawling in the desert sand! It didn't know which was up or down, or where its closest escape route was.

The tables had turned now the warrior froze with fear. This time it could not snap out of it before the white mist saturated its outer shield. The white mist was heavy causing the warrior to drop to the cistern. Once it had landed another white mist began to suffocate him. With its last bit of strength the spider looked up as green mesh in the hands of the brave girl flew towards it, closing its eyes for good.

Remember

I realise I haven't posted much in the last couple of weeks. I am still processing much of what has happened this month and the things I have been thinking about. I'd like to get some of them clearer in my mind before I do post on them. Watch out for the day I go crazy and finish all the posts at once that I have started in my draft-box!

I can tell you this now though...

Since I started making time with God and His Word [the Bible] a daily priority - reading big chunks of God's story from the beginning and being more dependent on Him through prayer - I have become more enthusiastic for God and life. My life has been richly deepened recently as God has been teaching me, opening my eyes to see new perspectives, to see what is important - what is lasting. I have heard people talk about Christianity as a blind-faith: following a guy as if he's God with no real proof because of a book that was put together by humans. Yet the more I listen to Jesus through the Bible, prayer, conversations and the work of His Spirit, I feel like my eyes are being opened more and more.

In this month I have read from Genesis to 1 Kings so far. And constantly there is this theme of Remembering. God remembers people, God remembers His promises and fulfills them, then He calls people to Remember Him and Remember what he has Done. The dictionary definition for 'remember' = "have in or be able to bring to one's mind an awareness of (someone or something that one has seen, known or experienced in the past); bear (someone) in mind by making them a gift or making provision for them" [Oxford American Dictionary]. 

It's sinking in more now just how important it is to keep in mind [remember] what is important, what is true - which in my experience and the message of the Bible is God: Maker, Provider, Saviour, Redeemer, Way, Truth and Life. The more I keep Him in mind - remembering who He is, what He was done, what He has promised He will do - I am more able to experience the richness of life with less fear, more joy, more appreciation for people... so much more good stuff! :)

Remembering is so important that it requires us to 'remember' together, encourage each other to keep God in mind - know/discover who He is, what He has done, what He has promised, how He has provided for us.

Have you seen the movie "Remember the Titans"? or any inspiring football movie? Just think of the pep talks that happen before a big game or an inspiring moment where a coach or player shares a new perspective or reminds the team of who they are and what they are able to do together. Remembering God together is like that - it is so energising and inspiring, cause God IS inspiring! :) So let's not shy away from having genuine conversations about God whether you are seeking to know if He's true, remembering God out loud so a friend can know Him too, or remembering together how Awesome He IS and the Wonders He has done and said He will do, and how those truths can fill our daily lives with such passion, purpose, assurance, freedom, and deep joy that cuts through circumstances. No wonder the writer of 'Hebrews' in the Bible says this in chapter 24v23-25:

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. "

Let's not let there be barriers like age, personality, different styles, different likes, different life stages or backgrounds stop us from remembering together.

Remembering God shapes the way we live. The way we live shapes our Remembering. Remember God first.

[Pic from creativemyk.com]

My life as a Musical #1

I sometimes dream of living life like it is a musical. It would take at least another person to have the same kind of dream for it to work though haha:) So, instead, I've decided to post various video clips over time of songs that have influenced my life in some way or are part of a sound track to my life. But don't be surprised if I just start bursting out in song randomly one day ;)

I chose this one first because Audio Adrenaline's music has brought me lots of joy, insight, encouragement, "pep-talks" and conviction, dance and singing to my life. I am thankful to God for Audio Adrenaline. Their music and lyrics are inspired.  This is "Get Down" - the video clip is fun to watch and the words help me put things in perspective [they are below]. Enjoy :)

Check out their website if you like here

Lavishly our lives are wasted
Humbleness is left untasted
You can't live your life to please yourself, yeah
That's a tip from my mistakes
Exactly what it doesn't take
To win you've got to come in last place
To live your life you've got to lose it
And all the losers get a crown

CHORUS:
I get down and He lifts me up
I get down and He lifts me up
I get down and He lifts me up
I get down

All I need's another day
Where I can't seem to get away
From the many things that drag me down, yeah
I'm sure you've had a day like me
Where nothing seems to set you free
From the burdens you can't carry all alone
In your weakness He is stronger
In Your darkness He shines through
When you're crying He's your comfort
When your all alone, He's carrying you

CHORUS

This valley is so deep
I can barely see the sun
I cry out for mercy, Lord
You lift me up again

CHOURS
Every time I'm down the Lord ifts me up
Yeah

Redefining Resolutions

I've been working hard to improve my life lately. Switch bad habits with new good ones, be more organised and prepared in my work, maintain a healthy work life balance, prioritise time with God and looking after myself physically... mostly all are with good intentions. Yet some of it is about trying to gain a sense of control as a coping mechanism amid the chaos and uncertainty that exists in my life. 

 

Today I found out that approximately 3000 Sudanese were massacred last week! Perhaps you didn't even know this - even if you watch the news it may not have been told to you. All last week I was meeting people in my community who don't have much support or love in their lives, just battling life daily. So my desire for order in my life and 'being on top of everything' is being challanged immensely! Isn't that just another form of self-centredness and working for my own comfort - possibly even at the cost of others due to the fact focusing on my life means not doing anything about theirs?!

I started writing this post earlier today when I found out about the Sudanese massacre. I am still struggling to finish this post because I am so rattled by what I have seen and heard this week and my response. My heart is troubled. It wants to leap right out of my chest, grow arms and legs and just do whatever it takes to be a part of transforming someone else's life - particularly the youth in this town that I met and the many just like them here.  Yet it feels bound up and helpless as though my rib cage is too strong and my skin too thick to break through. Well perhaps my heart can't break through it all at once - I wish it would... but just as the prisoner in some movie I have seen used a spoon to dig his way out gradually, I am going to attempt to break out too! In fact I think that what is going on in me at the moment is the work of the Freedom Master. I truly believe it is the work of God when our hearts become restless and unsatisfied with the world and our lives. It's the 'shake the building' stage so that we can see we are in a prison and there is the possibility of being free.

So my resolution isn't to be 'on top of all my work and life' anymore. It's to cling closely to God - keep time with Him the main thing I stay in control of and sustain. Then be other people-centred, as in spend more time with people who need it, rather than spend more time writing programs and getting organised. It's really about remembering why I am on this earth in the first place: Love God cause He IS God, a great and glorious God; and Love like God aka like Jesus - can't believe how easy it is to forget that!

Me v The High Jump Bar

High school athletics carnivals always brought fear and trepidation to my unathletic body. This day in 2000 was no exception to the rule. What was different was that I was in year 12 and it was my last chance to gain victory over the tormenting landscape of athletic challenges. I have never been known for my speed and foot-springs -for they too were afraid of their potential or lack of, thus never showed themselves. But maybe, miraculously, they would show themselves this day. 

Then the moment came... the sound that is worse than someone burping in your ear - the megaphone roaring out these words: "15year girls - High Jump". There I found myself face to face with that annoyingly intimidating bar which smirked at me as if it could see right through my determined face. But this was my moment. I was not going to back down. I was going to beat that bar. Suddenly my foot-springs awakened with anticipation jolting my speed to rev and I was away. Stride. Stride. Stride. Leap. And Beat that Bar I DID - with my butt! not once, but all 3 times!! Now if that's not defeating something I don't know what is cause I am sure that bar had to be in some kind of pain - I know I was and my black butt was the symbol of that pain for like  a week, haha :) Yep, that's a day I won't forget. I actually like that memory. Though it was an embarrassing [and painful] moment - especially cause I was competing against girls in a grade lower than me - I am glad I kept trying.

This memory popped [or should I say lept] into my mind this morning when I was thinking about how ambitious I can be -  perhaps too ambitious. For example, I have set myself the challenge of reading all of Genesis to Joshua in 1.5weeks. I am doing a series on Joshua with the kids at church so I wanted to really know the book in it's context and have the story in my head. In making that goal I decided I may as well read the whole Bible as quickly as I can so that I will be more equipped to learn, prepare and pass on it's riches to younger people. I am keen to look at how God has wired us humans - how we learn and grow - things like Emotional Intelligence [EQ] and how God informs, equips and directs us in that so we can grow in relationship with Him, ourselves and each other, and become more Christ-like... in short: Live the Change. So reading the whole Bible will help me with this too.Yep I have some pretty ambitious dreams and plans for this year. I am sure I won't reach them all, but I really want to try.

Though I aim high and most of the time miss the bar, I end up jumping higher than I would have otherwise. What keeps me jumping is the fact that God's Grace covers the gap between me and the bar that I can't clear. Yep I still have moments where failure intimidates me. But I have come to discover that every time I fail God makes a way for that failure to become an agent for growth and I find that it was better for me to fail or not quite reach the mark. Like me landing on the bar, it can be painful though - I won't gloss over that. The growth that comes from it is far more satisfying though, and so the pain fades. 

However high the bar seems to be set for you right now, let your fear or determination lead you to 'reach' it with the only one who can completely 'clear' it - Jesus.

Vote YES to keep future New Years Day

Funny how 1 new day seems to be more powerful than every other new day. Imagine if the world didn't measure time in years, just days... yep that freaks me out! The Bible and any other history books would be full of many more numbers - some taking up more than 1 line probably. That would take some fun out of being an archeologist or historian. No-one would want to be the one reading the Bible up front at church when the passage for the day is Genesis chapter 5! Not to mention how some of those people in that passage would have felt about telling people their age... take Methuselah for example, he was 353,927 days old when he died. Should I be worried that I did the math on that? By the way, if you did the math too and it doesn't look like mine, I took account of leap years - yep I should probably be worried - but I'm not:) There is something more troubling about not having years... there couldn't be months and you know what happens when there is no month or year - there are no anniversaries... I'm talking NO birthdays, no reoccurring celebrations we can look forward to - that is depressing. Although, we could swing it so everyday was our birthday - life would just be full of parties then. There are some weeks and months that feel like they drag on already, having no year would make life feel like it's dragging along. I don't think we could handle it...

So Right about now I am feeling very thankful for New Years Day! How about you? I appreciate that God has structured into our lives beginnings and ends and new beginnings and anniversaries - times to look forward, times for reflecting, times for remembering, times for re-evaluating, and times to celebrate. There is a lot of wisdom and grace right there:) Though every day is really a new beginning for us and a sign of grace to us from God, there is something pretty great about New Years eve and New Years Day that is different from every other day - besides the parties and the public holidays. Here's to the Grace of God and a clean slate for the year. I'm pumped for it! :)