Goodbye Twenty11

I mentioned in my last blog that 2011 has been 'messy'. What better way to capture some that messy nature than to put as many descriptions and events together as possible in a wordle. 

 

It's been easy at the end of 2011 to think of it being a horrible year that I am looking forward to saying goodbye to. But as I reflect on it now in a less fragile state than 2 weeks ago I can say that there have actually been many fantastic things about this year that I am truly thankful for. Tears have been a regular occurrence, yet some of them have been tears of deep joy because of the overwhelming love I have felt from God and marveling at His Incredible-ness. Though the trials, grief and pain that has occurred this year have deeply effected me, God has helped me to get to a place where I can move forward. Some things I will leave behind, and some I will carry into 2012 because God still has some healing work to do and He will also use it somehow - that's something I love about God: He takes the broken pieces of our history and builds them into our future in such a way that makes them no longer seem broken rather important pieces of a masterpiece. I wonder what you are saying goodbye to on the eve of the new year...

Before I say my last goodbye for the year and sign off my last blog for the year, I would like to do  3 things:

1.  Here's a shout out to my friends who I have said temporary goodbyes to this year - I miss you all! And though you are not near me locationally anymore, I am definitely making sure you are a part of my 2012 somehow. Much LOVE to you:)
2.  To the family of my friends who have died this year - I will continue to remember our loved ones with you as we walk the road next year without them. May we hold on to the hope that Jesus has given us: that we will see His face one day forever and stand with those we have said goodbye to for the rest of this life. I praise God He redeemed them and gave them as gifts to us!
3. If you are at the point where you really want to say goodbye to your life in some way, now is a great time to say hello to the Only One who can give True New Life - seriously start 2012 with Jesus or more of Jesus if you already know him :)

Goodbye 2011 and goodnight,
Mel<><

Uncluttering Campaign

For the last 2 weeks I have been running a personal campaign in my home... it hasn't got a name but it's slogan is something like: "clean house = clean slate" or "declutter the home to declutter the mind". "Messy" is the best way to describe 2011 for me, so as the end of 2011 draws near my natural inclination has been to clear any cluttered or messy part of my environment I have control over - the only environment I am in charge of is my house. Now I'm not just talking about the usual tidy-up, we're talking sorting and clearing a mass scale. First room was my home office - cause I started that process 6months ago which meant the floor had been covered in 'organised' piles for that long! I say 'had' because now I can say those piles aren't there anymore. There are a few new ones, haha:) I laugh cause the office has actually been 98% sorted now. I pulled out everything! It feels great to have chucked out so many unnecessary papers and receipts - don't worry I recycled. My desk is functional and I know where everything goes now. sigh of relief and a longer sigh of satisfaction

My wardrobe got the next shock this morning. I like to think of myself of not too vain and not too much of a hoarder. It's now become clear - thanks to this supposedly personal campaign against my home - that vanity is still an existent issue for me and, though I am not a chronic hoarder,  I have waaaayyyy more stuff than I NEED. I have had a large wardrobe all to myself and have managed to fill, FILL it with clothes - most of which I hardly wear. Sure most of them are 2nd hand [or many more than that], I'm not a big clothes shopper. But still I have many clothes. I wear maybe a 3rd of them regularly and I'll wear them til they can't be worn by anyone. So today was the time to be ruthless. Much more of a challenge than I thought. I can't believe how many times I thought: "maybe I will need that later" to clothes I said that to last time I had a clean out. I like jeans so I have quite a few of them! not anymore - but boy was it hard to give some of them away. There were more than a few times I thought: "I look good in this" which made me not want to give them away when really I didn't need them. I literally sat down and asked for Jesus' help at one stage cause I was feeling too attached to some clothes and couldn't decide! That's when I realised vanity and whatever it is - there's something else - exists and I have to keep fighting it. I am glad to say I have gotten rid of about 1/2 my clothes perhaps a few more. I still look at my wardrobe and think - how could I possibly need all this. Someone else would probably look at my wardrobe and tell me I don't have enough. There are all these unwritten rules about clothes in our culture. Like:

• you can't wear the same clothes 2 days in a row, definitely no more than that, otherwise people will think you don't wash your clothes
• dressing for an occasion requires a few different outfits to choose from cause you can't wear the same outfit to all similar occasions such as weddings
• dress for the environment
• have 'backups' just in case
• you have to 'look' professional to be professional and taken seriously [or is this one written somewhere?]

I subscribe to the 'just in-case' rule more than anything - what can I say, I'm a 'just in-case' girl [you can tell by what I pack to go anywhere]. I've never really like to professional one, but since I started working at a school I have had to take it more seriously. Before you ask - no I didn't become a youth worker so I could wear whatever I want to most of the time - though it is an advantage! :) Once I find an outfit for a special occasion I pretty much wear it to all of them if possible, yet I find I still have a couple of choices... hmmm... then of course there are a few articles of clothing I really have enjoyed wearing in the past that I have kept in the hope I may fit back in them again!

I find it interesting that people really notice when I get 'new' clothes because they mention it. Perhaps there is another rule I don't know about: wear a variety of clothes regularly so as to not bore the people who have to see you everyday ;) Well I apologise to those people who have to see me regularly cause I just got rid of half my clothes which definitely means less variety to look at :)

I don't think I have ever talked about clothes so much in my life! I'm really surprised you're still ready actually - but don't stop now ;) I'll finish it for you. I guess my conclusion is this: clothing is more than a physical need to  many of us, this fact alone is reason enough for us to consider thinking about clothes more - just differently so we can see what our clothes are really covering up beyond our skin.

Spectrums and the Self Dilemma

As the western world increasingly sees more people with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, self-harm [eg. cutting, eating disorders] and suicide - particularly in High School aged students and young adults - there has been an increase in talk and energy directed at the idea of self-worth. Many of you would have noticed that we throw the word “self-esteem” around quite regularly. In schools, well at the least the one I work with, staff are keen to make sure students get the opportunity to attend seminars or groups that will boost their self-esteem - including self-image. Certainly there is a dilemma regarding the concept of ‘self’, what value we should place on ourselves and how we measure that value. So I’m going to just call it the Self Dilemma for now. Many people are asking the question how come we have this dilemma and what is the answer? We have plenty of people in our society who are trained counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrics, researchers, chaplains, youth workers, teachers and concerned people thinking about it, voicing their thoughts and even coming up with programs to prevent and solve this dilemma. Now there are definitely some physiological causes of some of these struggles in peoples lives. Things such as Chemical in-balances that can only be boosted with medications. Then there are the societal, worldview, perceptional, emotional and spiritual aspects that cause such struggles as mentioned above. It's these aspects I am hoping to explore. In some ways the answers to those questions are simple to me, yet wrapped up in complexity.

Perhaps the Self Dilemma has arisen with force because we mostly define love by what it isn’t. We know the 2 opposing extremes that are not love, but we don’t know where inbetween those extremes to find the position of love. So we slip and slide from one to the other hoping we’ll somehow ‘fall into’ the hole marked ‘perfect love’ - like the little silver ball in those boredom-buster maze toys . 

It’s like being on a see-saw where we can sit on one end, so if we don’t have anyone/thing on the other end we don’t balance out. It’s a spectrum thing. A spectrum between Self-loathing and Narcissism. We know that it’s not loving others to love ourself [and society looks down on ‘those self-lovers who only care about themselves], but it’s not loving of ourselves to love others too much more than ourself, or is it? And when we’re afraid we’ve completely got it wrong we’ll try to fix it by running to the other extreme like some game they might put on “Wipeout” where you have to keep some moving object in balance the whole time by placing yourself in the right spot. Added to that haze of self-love is this concept of self-worth. This comes with it’s own conundrum because we can’t seem to pin down a tangible measurement of this either - which leaves us using ‘human comparisons’ as a measurement! Can you see how it’s a dilemma? I could go on, but I think we all understand this at least to some extent because we’ve all experienced it at some point.

I find it really interesting that there are 2 commandments from God that include the notion of loving our-self [“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself" Matthew 22v37-39]. Yet, we usually overlook the 'as yourself' and focus on the rest of the commandments. I wonder if it’s because we just don’t understand how we can love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, as well as love our ‘neighbour’ while loving our-self. We have somehow told ourselves that loving something else requires sacrificing some of the love we have for our-self. Perhaps there is a level of truth in this, but what if we have not really understood it?

What if the truth is that we love ourselves more by loving God and other people, and we love God and other people more fully when we love our-self rightly? What if loving our-self rightly can only happen when we know the One who defines perfect love because He IS LOVE and the giver of perfect love?

This is something I am really keen to explore more. Perhaps you’ll explore it with me:)

I'm on a mission

When I was a little, yet growing girl, my family were very much a part of a wider family network. Now if you know my extended family you would know just how expansive it is with my many uncles and aunties and cousins and grandparents and 2nd cousins, and now nephew and babies to in formation! Naturally, I love the concept of family and mixing it with people of various generations. As I look back on my 'formational' years what stands out to me is the input my family had in my life. I don't just mean my blood/marriage related family though. 

You see my Dad and Mum have been ministers in the Anglican Church since before I was born [ok my Mum isn't called a Minister and hasn't trained to be one - like my Dad, but she has faithfully served people alongside my Dad, so I'm calling her one]. So my 3 sisters and I had a great time being embraced by Church families around NSW, wherever we moved to. There are 2 Church families that were most formational for us: Mullumbimby and Alstonville. We spend most of our schools years between those 2 places [well at least my older sister and I did]. The people in both those Churches are definitely 'family' to us. What I love most about those Churches at those times was that there were lots of different people in them - various ages, personalities, abilities and life stories/backgrounds. Yet noone seemed out of place as though they didn't belong and I was always assured that these people were my family - because they treated me like family too. Even when we moved away, people from these churches would come celebrate significant events with us - even if it meant a 3-7hr drive. And whenever any one of them has died we have mourned and at least one of my family would attended funerals when possible [which has become more often these last 2 years. After all some of them seemed old when I was in primary school, so 20yrs or so later it is not really a surprise - yet still sad].

As I consider God's design for humanity and the way in which Jesus has and is at work to redeem that perfect design in us, there has been a growing desire in me to 'live the change' by helping the different generations intertwine again. As a youth/young families minister in a local church, it has been one of my missions to help my church family shift it's culture from being Age-segregated to Intergenerational - where younger and older people are lovingly and deliberately active in each others' lives so that we all grow. I've been at it for 5 years now, which is why I am finally blogging about it. Someone said on a podcast I was listening to today that they had been working on some project for 12 years, which made me think that it's about time I started recording things I've learned in this mission already so that I don't forget them by the 12th year [wherever I am this will always be part of my mission]. Plus, the things I have experienced and learned in these past 5 years have all been related to 'living the change' in other areas of life and ministry, so it's apt that I talk about it on this blog.

Feel free to share any of your discoveries or experiences with creating, changing or enjoying an Intergenerational Culture :)

Hi... again?

Well it has come to the point in my life where I have to say hello again because Apple inc. have decided not to continue use of their web design software iWeb. Thus, here I am starting a new blog. If you have read my blogs in the past in a different location thanks for meeting up with me here again and 'hi':) If you've never heard of me or read any of my ramblings Hi! :)

I'm taking this change as an opportunity to refocus my blogging. I have much I want to explore and discover about what it is to truly follow Jesus and integrate into my whole life the changes He has brought about in the world. At the moment there are particular areas of ministry with youth and children that I am eager to explore and apply. Stay tuned...

Mel<><